Christmas in my country is celebrated in peculiar ways amongst the various tribes that makes up the motherland. I am Nigerian, motherland should not be confused with Ghana. We know ourselves no be say we be friends.
Those in the northern states go about preparing meals and drinks which we share to our neighbors because, while the ram meat was given to a Christian family during the Sallah celebration, a mental note is being made on which Muslim family is getting Christmas food seeing that Mary is already pregnant and which ever neighbor or friend who came through with “it’s small Sallah” excuse and doesn’t give you food, then you plan to pay back come December. Anyway, I always look forward to getting “kunu” in view of the fact my family no longer makes kunu na so so wine and beverages dem dey drink. Plus, the weather this season has attuned to winter properly (you commoners call it harmattan but it’s alright).
Those in the southwestern part of my country decide it’s “Detty December” for them. It’s all a parte after parte situation over there. From one Christmas party event to the other, With Lagos posing as the capital city for chop life and entertainment, various artistes get to have their concerts the very December coz what better time to chop citizens money without remorse than when the IJGB are sandwiched with their elite friends?? Meanwhile, the mantra for this December was definitely “No mannaz” hence Mafo! Marlians step forward the rest didkdidniendixjdien.(I’m not a real marlian you see?? I wear belt therefore I have no idea what their president says…Padin me)
The entire city of Lagos is filled up and traffic on it’s own which has the total population of Beijing stuck on the highway. As an average Nigerian, definitely you’ll be in that traffic for at least 4-5 hours then you come online to join all those yeye people who act as though being caught in traffic which is not usually their real life daily routine while living in traffic. Shut up Doyin. Stop tweeting rubbish. You work on the island and you live in Festac, stop acting brand new. You don’t live in Abuja abeg. Talk about “Igbo People, you guys should travel to the East na” nye Nye Nye…I fit slap you. If Igbo people leave now, aburo, would you really enjoy Lagos? You yourself gangan would relocate to Upper Iweka road…pttff.
Let’s not lose focus now shall we? I was about to be vexed cause I am amongst the Igbo people who go down to the East during the Christmas. I’m convinced there’s no way Mother Mary’s Omugwo is not ongoing in Enugu year in year out. As custom, igbo people celebrate Christmas in different ways. There are 2 categories of igbo people here though. The first group happen to be those who travel down to the east before the 25th of December coz “anyi bu the life of the party ighotara?” These people come down early because there are a lot of age grade meetings which are ongoing ok?? And ndi Nwoke also get to do meet and greet with the Eze you get?? Good! These people may sometimes be people who couldn’t make it to the village the last Christmas, ok? We’ve got to amend. Moreover, these group needs more time to visit other families who came through to the village whilst also entertaining the kinsmen.
The second category now my darling, of which I happen to always be a member of the group who make it down to the east from the 27/28th reason being we have to kill two birds with one stone. Have Christmas celebration in Abuja, then go for the extension down East. Most times, our group is also made up of innocent young people who really just wanted a Detty December in the city seeing we had already planned our month with our friends. I mean, Future Hendrix(The Patriarch himself) was coming to Nigeria, dammit! but alas, our mothers decided “ahh, let me go and breathe village air. O diri mma na ahu m” Mother please (insert eye roll, you still look the same)
Various activities go down in the igbo nation during the Christmas Festivities that makes you question if Jesus is aware mmuo is also dancing at the arrival of his birth. Various masquerades dance at various events depending on location. There are specific masquerades peculiar to Gender now you know…When a particular spirit comes out to dance, women and children are not allowed to look upon this great being for fear of the unknown happening to them. Now, we all know there’s no one on God’s green earth that would motivate me to go look for what did not find me hence my darling, I looked upon on the friendly spirits alone. I’ll ask my cousin what the bigger masquerade(mmuo) looks like so I can run with my imagination here.
Various village market squares held an array of colourful wrappers and isi-agus worn by women and their husbands seated while looking upon the youth of the villages participating in various dances and chanting mind blowing igbo. I mean all my twerk lessons were obviously a waste coz if you my friend had seen the waistline of the damsels in my village, my dear one, you would have also denied knowing me the way Nwannem Peter the rock denied our saviour.
Lest I forget the most important information here, ndi malay lotara alota😂(the Malaysians in our place also came back). Why else would I have seen bling-bling at oboro junction biko??😂 the small main road we’re managing in my place saw weeeeennnn. I need you to personally understand these, Benz humbled me maka Chukwu. Unfortunately my darling, I didn’t remember to get a Malay husband before he left. It’s unfortunate nna. Anyhow, I just really pray Dede Uche Ogah would remember uturu na isuikwuato bu ofu(uturu and Isuikwuato is one) and he’ll remember to let the government know Erosion has destroyed the federal road that leads to my father’s land. Thank you in advance Senator sir.
My dear one, this blogpost is becoming too long and we know the way your attention span really is. Wake up. The holiday is over my darling. It’s January 7, 2020 already. Get back to your real life ok?😂❤
–happy new year darling ❤
PS; This is definitely my birthday gift to you❤😏 from my benevolent soul too😂❤
Disclaimer: images and videos were gotten from the internet and my family members.
Image culled from my cousin’s instagram page.
thathausaibogeh 