This is not another Valentine’s Day Story.

Already you’ve read a lot of stories and seen a lot of Valentine’s day stories and it’s brouhaha, well this is not your typical love story. Believe that. My country slated her election day for the 16th of the month so you can imagine how a number of us had planned our valentine’s day down to the weekend. The plan was spend half a day with the side boyfriend and travel back to my polling centre the next day. Things were looking out the way I had planned them to and viola I found myself in my registered city amidst the stress and sufferhead life I embarked on coz the airport in my city is a joke and Arik Air is not one to be making last minute plans with. I found myself in my town by 10:45pm having left the east late in the morning also because “Amaka” is a name common to my people and we’re already used to her disappointments in regards to a lot of issues and services offered.

Election Day – I woke up quite late coz I was really tired and the plan was my family members would already be at the polling unit saving space for me pending whenever I get there. Imagine my shock when I woke by 11am and saw my older brother who doesn’t live in this house having breakfast with my momma. “Why didn’t you go to vote?” I asked and Baba started laughing. “Welcome back to the world. Your country has postponed your election” he kept laughing as he told me that.

Dear INEC, I was very angry. You know why?? I’ll tell you. I was supposed to enjoy the fruits of my almost a year labour dating a man. Yes, I was supposed to be resting on my back on the Valentine’s day with man whispering sweet nothings into my ear coz really I’ll have zoned him out as He was busy doing his village thing there meanwhile I just came through to be pampered. I was supposed to be fed by hand by someone’s son while reading about the state of affairs in my nation whilst also cursing out my terrible leaders and fellow countrymen on Twitter but alas..you had your own plans. You disappointed even Amaka herself and that’s saying a lot. Sanu INEC Chairman!

I do have a ton of questions Mr Chairman Sir, seeing the load of conspiracy theories being thrown around on social media. How is it possible you had almost an entire tenure to prepare for an election and you blame “logistics”. The very term used by a large number of Nigerians whenever they need to employ a big word to defend their inefficiencies? Baba oo🙌😂Sanu Sir. Sir, how is it possible INEC recognized these discrepancies in the process and only decided to halt the election by 0200hrs in the morning? Sir, I had not even slept for 2 hours complete before you made your announcements. “E pain me make I no lie” because you were aware of the majority of people who travelled just because of this. You abused my rights and had it been our country was more developed, this would have been an issue of national disaster coz you disenfranchised we the citizens but you my man are just the “Godfather”.

Saturday 23 February is the next election date and well we are still faced with the great decision of who to vote. My generation advices we vote younger people into power. Sowore would have been my preferred candidate you see but let’s be realistic shall we? Not everyone knows the name of his party and unfortunately for my man and I, his party do not have the infrastructure to rally support across the 774 local governments in Nigeria. Now I believe my man should rather contest for the office of the governor Lagos state. He stands a better chance defeating Jagaban’s man. Yup, I said it and Dear Sowore my President if you do come out in 2023 best believe you have my vote. Who doesn’t like a candidate who plans to legalize my marijuana business?? Anyway, the rest of the population says there are only two candidates to choose from. This is not me canvassing for votes but I’ll certainly vote for the man who would provide me with umbrella when it starts to rain.

Tomorrow is the D-day, I’ve organized my tracksuit, face-cap and canvas for the elections. Canvas in case I do need to throw it away while I embark on my Olympic race. I have two charged up power banks, a functional earpiece,take away plate,bottled water and spoon with the phone number of my plug supplying me kunu for the day safely organized.

Image culled from my cousin’s instagram page.

My dear friends do endeavour to turn out and vote if you have your PVC with you. Your country needs you, also not forgetting your election day essentials🙏 My Kunu woman’s number is available though in case your polling unit is here in the Plaru too😂

P.s: We would move to Canada next week though. Believe that!

Wishing you a peaceful election…

-datHausaIbogeh 💫❤