POV: listening to Mayourkun say ‘Ge Ge’ in a loop while the volume is turned down to 4. My President FK Abudu who was thrown out undemocratically in a coup by the current Nigerian government, is speaking over her podcast. I’m multitasking because sometimes I may be good at that. How else would I also be typing out this blog post? It’s simply because my president FK could also multitask when she was at the helm of affairs and we needed her at the same time in different parts of the country. All she had to do was type out in her various press releases ”We’re on it” and everywhere mmara mma.
Hey there, I want you to imagine me waving at you and having this huge grin on my face that usually erupts into laughter because that’s normally how I’m seen by my friends and by God you are my friend in this moment and I need you to know that. Can you believe what today is? It’s not long ago I posted “Happy New Month” on my WhatsApp status to anyone who viewed that faithful morning and viola, we are counting down to Christmas already dammit. Wow.
Oopss…since you are reading this now; I’ll just simply say I was supposed to post this to you on or before Christmas as a Christmas gift. Don’t expect too much from me dammit! Gbajabiamila led-house apologized to the presidency after all for failing in his duties as the executive arm of government so, Yes I’ll also need you to apologize to me for making me type and abandon this beautiful work of art.
2020…haha, the year we all said was going to be our year. Omo!! That’s all I can type out to describe what this year has been because we have been through a lotttt… Jesus bu Eze. Everything happened this year and at the same time our lives had to be placed on pause as a result of the pandemic. We lost a lot of loved ones this year both old men and women down to the youths. It was really a tough year and in this moment I choose to simply be thankful.
A lot of people have been on their December thanksgiving brouhaha but in all honesty this is not what this post is entirely about because I’m angry most times but I want to see the rainbow in my clouds right now. So, shall we begin?
I am grateful for family because in spite the fact my mother don use me for house girl finish without pay, I get to have family members I hug occasionally when I wake up each morning in the cold city of Jos after my mother wakes us all up to pray to Jesus as early as 0500hrs. Dearly beloved, this habit needs to be stopped. We need to move prayers to 7:45am because we no longer have children in this compound who are to resume at school as early as 8:00am. Madam, that’s why we sent these kids back to their parents for goodness sake. Anyway, I hug my family members occasionally as romance in me is dead. Yoruba men made sure of it. I do hug my brother every other odd time because he hates it and he shoves me to the wall every time it happens. That’s usually fun.
I’m grateful for good health. My body did not fail me as often as it does this year. Can you believe I didn’t have to sleep in a hospital this year? I didn’t give my mother high BP because I am being too weak to keep my eyes open and in typical Nigerian mother prayer warrior pattern, she didn’t have to drag my eyes to remain open coz God forbid I cannot be tired in the mighty name of Jesus simply because I am an Israelite. Madam, na sick I sick. I will not die right now in Jesus name. The matter of being an Israelite though, I do believe because why else won’t I have my NIN number? They go soon block my SIM card for this country and I will have no option but to go back to Israel. (Bashir abeg, do something. Beg your boss to have mercy on me. I cannot go and queue anywhere some 4 days to Christmas. Have mercy on me for the mere fact I follow you on twitter. Biko).
Edit: the NIN registration closing date brouhaha has been moved till the end of January if I remember correctly. Praise Jesus! We still got time.
I would have had a different year ending this year too you know. I would have joined the great number of people who tweeted “I said yes” with an accompanying picture of my left hand holding my fingers up, donning a sizeable carat worth diamond ring I can get to still sell off when my husband wants a divorce in the next 30 or something years(God forbid to me divorcing biko). My village people said No to my dreams mehnn. Village people coz I really mean my brother’s wife who has been married for some years now.
Nwanyi a really cock-blocked my marriage proposal from a thriving Anambra man. I was at her place the other day to greet and waka pass and she had a visitor at her place who asked about me when I left them. Her visitor told her she liked me and she has a brother who is a businessman in Onitsha. She claims I’m definitely his Spec. Dearly beloved, can you please tell me why my aunt told this woman I won’t be interested because “we no want oo”. Madam, are you me? Do you know my spec? For goodness sake, nwoke ahu nwere container na Onitsha. I don’t know where else my aunty thinks I’m going to see an Anambra man with Onitsha container money. This is how my village member took matters into her own hands and prevented my wedding from happening in this glorious year. Alas, all the Saturdays in the year are over. It is well.
Edit: it is also worthy of mention that my sugar daddy decided this is the year he had to get married to the love of his life. Have Yoruba Kings shown me shege? Yes, but I’ll give this story another day Insha Allah when the Federal Government of Nigera allows me to use my sim without the NIN registration.
With all that has happened in this year, I am most grateful for my mental health. This year tested me in more ways than I could keep count, being relatively sane was what kept me. I’m grateful for the people who took out time to listen to me through the year. I don’t think I get to tell them often. Crucial moments where I was falling, they were there to remind me who THATHAUSAIBOGEH truly is. I can’t start singling people out in order to show my gratitude for what they are to me so I will refrain from doing just that lest it looks as though I’m favoring some people over others.
Edit; to my darling daughter Fateeha who my fellow wife delivered of for me, I am grateful to the high heavens for you nwam. This is also me being mad partial but its okay. Chimaobim Candy, shout out to you too you Opobo offspring. I’m grateful for you too.
I am grateful for the SORO SOKE generation. We did not inherit the silence of our parents. To the ones we lost, I am grateful. You will forever remain in our hearts.
This blog post is getting a tad bit lengthy and we both know, the only reason you may have gotten to this part is because you are trying to keep awake at the cross over service being held in your church right now. If that be the case, I suggest you log out now and commit the New Year into prayers. I do not permit you to play tumbo tumbo with my 2021. Respect yourself and please commit the year to master Jesus please dear.
I’m grateful for you and I pray we get to do this again in the coming year. Thank you for riding with me. This is getting cheesy I know but I was momentarily distracted by @whitenigeriangirl IG post right now and she was being all mushy there so here we are.
Edit; there is this church in my area I usually complain about their speakers, they are having cross-over service right now so I’m being compelled to sing along so I have to bring this post to an end.
For the year had, to the experiences we are yet to embark on, to the people we’ve loved and to those we haven’t met yet…Thank you.
In this year, let’s learn to be grateful for life and not spend a second Not living as we truly wish to be.
Happy end of year!!
Edit: we already know the drill. My new year begins on the 7th of January so shallah to you till then. KPK!!!
P.S; You can listen to Fk and Jolla here https://midasradio.fanlink.to/ISWIS
thathausaibogeh 