Struggles of a non academic student in a Nigerian University.

Schooling in a Nigerian University is work then when you study in a state University my dear it is hard work. Coping as a student is not easy so whenever I’m filling a form and I’m asked occupation, I tick that blank space with vigor coz me sef I know how the thing dey do me for body..

This story however is not about being a wonderful student but rather it speaks for the Non-academic student, those of we amazing ones that education is not our best feature. Blah blah we have to survive the smart ones in class, manage the average ones in the same class and more often than not we make use of the grace of the almighty God to live with the unrepentant “Acada” Sunday to Sunday night class going roommates who make it a point of duty to look down on us for not belonging to the intelligent people gang. Make no mistake dear friend, the fact we’re called Non academic students doesn’t mean we’re “Komkom” students o, it just happens to be we do not know how to live our lives in a set out way with a lot of rules and regulations binding on us all. We do not like being told 2+2 equals 4 without a good reason why. We do not want to know it’s just logic or common sense, if it were common sense we won’t all happen to be in the same school at the same damn time. 

Being called a non academic student does not mean shit coz we all end up being the smart ones you see, we’re the ones with the plenty amazing talents hidden deep albeit not deep deep down in us o. We’re smart and jeje did not come to suffer. 

Anyway, I’ve finally carried out my research on how to successfully be a non academic student. 

Firstly, being a non academic student involves you being Street savy. You need to have your ears on the ground 24/7 to know as e dey go.  

2. Make it top of your to-do list Aunty, that Ibo looking boy is your course rep and that’s your best friend my niccvr. You make friends with your course rep jeje, be spicing his life up every now and then, you know little airtime recharge every other month is a start coz then you receive the intoto news first hand. You know what assignment is important and know how much you need to cover up your parole (let it be known it’s not from my mouth you heard this though) 

3. Be friends with the intellectual people in class jeje. Don’t be known as that girl that’s always rolling with the slay Queens and them Zaddy’s alone. Be known to associate with the bookworm that always explains liberal trade with reference to Adam Smith (just manage and know a few philosophers names too, it goes a long way and makes people think you’ve arrived 😂). Let yourself be seen but be properly guided, do not be a Baza Queen and blow your cover, remember you really don’t know plenty things like that o coz all na packaging 😥.

4. Don’t go and be doing lagos fashion week in school say you’re dressing my dear friend. Just respect your hustle and be giving various looks so these people can relate with you e nugo? Today wear Victoria Secrets tomorrow Nwanyi Aba. So during exams and test periods you can dress like Mary Amaka and these people won’t judge you and say it’s because of exams OK? 😂 when dressing like Mary Amaka though, please it’s essential you still look good OK? Wear a simple plain shirt, maxi trousers (If you know you know),slippers, a simple vintage bag and wear shades to block your Olodo nature from the world 😎. Lest I forget no makeup except white powder if things look that bad. Dress like a student most times, a drop out other times and a celebrity every other day

5. Ensure you buy all your textbooks even if you’re not making use of them.Be known by your coursemates (this is strictly for emergency purposes)but these people do not need to know your name.They should just know you’re one of them without the unnecessary attachment with knowing of names.Do not let your lecturer know you personally except such person is related to you or you know something in his/her course still at that no dey show yourself biko. 

6. It’s very important your have a unisex name like Paul(a),Uche,Bolu, Hassan(a).Why is this important? What if someone is writing your test for you and such person is a guy? 😂😂you gats explain why your name is Paulina on paper and you look like a Desmond in real life 😂😂I saw this happen in my exam hall one day darling and I still laugh at this till today knowing I do not yet have the liver for someone else to write my exam in place of me or being caught in such a dilemma 😂I’ll definitely make a handsome John no matter.

7. Blah blah blah blah the point is in all you do in this hustle be smart and know people 😂

8. No dey wear earpiece everytime, if you have big phone allow some people take selfies with your fine iPhone camera and send it to them via whatsapp (very smart move, coz then they would add you in the group chat) share songs to these people at least you know alot about music and musicians… 

9. Research is still ongoing 😥😮man’s got exams coming through so, so long people 😘 Success to all these people of mine writing exams this month… 

You can always add up what you feel others like “we we” need to survive in school, let’s all help ourselves 😂😂

#undergraduate

#students 

#NigerianUniversity

#Jokes